You know you're safe, right?

Definition of safety: the state of being free from harm, danger, or risk

Hey you... 

I trust that you are taking care of yourself as best you can.

So, I've been in this space of "newness" and learning how to feel as I'm in it. As I continue to embark on this journey of healing, I am learning that it is okay to acknowledge that the level of safety is new to me, too. When I reflect on how much I've healed, the risks I've taken, and how I had to learn to trust myself in love again, I also had to meet a version of myself that I've never met before. 

THOUGHT-PROVOKING STATEMENT: The person you are now, you have never met. I encourage you to be gentle with this new relationship with yourself, know that you are worthy of this peace IN YOUR MIND, and know that you can learn to feel safe in it. 

If you are used to that thing called "survival mode", what have you done to break free from that? I didn't even know what survival mode was until the age of 22. This life was NEW. 

TRANSPARENT MOMENT: I moved into my first place at the age of 22, not knowing what that version of me would be like at that time. I heard a quote from Dr. Thelma Bryant that states, "People often mistake peace for boring". During that transition, that was all I was longing for: peace. You may ask, "What does peace feel like to you?". I can do my best to put it into words:

It was like coming home to myself for the first time. No noise, nobody else, only a peaceful sound filled with harmonies of love, solitude, and ease. I only had a rocking chair at first, and I was rockin' in peace each day. I was so happy to have made a decision to change for me. It was like every day, knowing that each tear was like watering my own garden. I was learning more about myself, reflecting on past things I had to let go of, and learning how to release them. It was just me and GOD, no distractions at all. 

And I liked it that way. 

It's okay to admit that I once perceived nervousness as fear. Even with that, I had to keep moving if I wanted to embrace this new journey. And so, I did. I went deep into a space of learning about who I was for the first time as a woman. I taught myself how to heal, how to rest in silence, and how to speak with affirmative actions.

What steps did I take? 

I allowed myself to reflect. Reflecting is asking yourself why certain things took place, without absorbing it.  "It is a deeper form of learning that allows us to retain every aspect of any experience"  (Geil Browning PhD). 

Shadow work was also helpful for me. Even though I was desiring for life to be a certain way, I learned to embrace the steady pace, while still being patient with myself. It was a lot I was becoming aware of, and most of all, it reminded me that I was ALIVE. (It's a blessing to feel). Each day felt like I was shedding off the old. 

It's one thing to notice that things are changing around you; it's another thing when you notice that things are also changing within you. The outside will change because of how I respond to it. Even when I look back, I wanted things to move at a certain pace, but the time wasn't the most important. It was my faith and how I was manifesting a new life for myself- And it came. 

So, ask yourself, after you've prayed, allowed your feelings to match those prayers. (prayers are also manifestations), Are you ready to receive? Will you call it crazy when it appears? Will you say that you are NOT worthy of what you have prayed and prepared for? Is your body also in receiving mode toward what you have prayed for?  (These are questions I've also asked myself.) 

Those questions are important because you become more aware of what you have called into your life based on your faith. There were so many things that I had to release that I believed in towards my faith. One phrase that I had to release was, "It's too good to be true", and I changed it to, "Its so good and true". I encourage you to create a positive dictionary for your interpretation; even phrases like that can also help you to have faith in things that may happen fast for you, even when its deemed as "too good to be true". IT IS TRUE, and it is happening for you. Be open to receiving that. Know that you are worthy of that, too. Constantly. 

Feeling safe within myself first was important for me to be able to trust others again, too. I had to trust that my decisions towards others I would allow in my life came with discernment, feeling my intuition, trusting it, and forming healthy boundaries. I even learned that boundaries were a form of unconditional love. It first protected me, helped me to express how something makes me feel, and trusting that it shows healthy communication. 

Personal boundaries are 'The limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships." (Quora.)

I once thought that boundaries were harsh, which was a people-pleasing attitude I had back then. Desiring for other people to be happy cannot be more important than your happiness. That will never be a fulfilling life: There should be an equal exchange of love, but first you have to set the standard on what it is to follow. 

You can't do that until you allow yourself to feel and learn what it is that you need. 

 

What is a need? A necessity, something required. 

Affirmation: GOD, I THANK YOU FOR SUPPLYING EVERY NEED AND FUFILLING EVERY DESIRE. 

So, be gentle with yourself on this journey, and know that this peace you've found is SAFE now. All because you are safe within yourself first. 

Love you. (Tell yourself that you love YOU each day, even more than once)

Thank you for choosing you and loving you...

-Kendreka